Popular Comedy Quotes
Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - or sticking my hand in it.Brodie
Preferred customer my ASS!Medieval Times host
Deputy Chief Hardy: Well I hoped never to see you again.
Schmidt: What's up, dawg?
Jenko: We back!
Deputy Chief Hardy: Ladies, nobody gave a s*** about the Jump Street reboot but you got lucky. So now this department has invested a lot of money to make sure Jump Street keeps going. The only problem is the Koreans bought the church back so we're moving you across the road to 22 Jump Street.
It's on till the break of dawn!Costa
Joanna: So what do you wanna do?
Peter Gibbons: First I'm gonna take you out to dinner, and then I'm gonna go back to my apartment and watch kung fu. Do you ever watch kung fu?
Joanna: I love kung fu.
Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.
Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch kung fu tonight.
Joanna: Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.
They using big words now. Sanctuary, congested... that means umm, ghetto.LeeJohn
Random Guy: Hey Amanda.
Amanda Becket: Hey.
Random Guy: Remember that time we danced at the sock hop?
Amanda Becket: Yeah.
Random Guy: I just wanted you to know I had the hugest boner and I was just wondering if maybe you and I could get together and... work it out?
Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?Economics Teacher
Rene: What are you doing? You promised me breakfast.
Brodie: Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.
Tigers love pepper.Alan Garner
If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!Krusty the Clown
Scarface: I got it! Why don't we sell that weed that we smoked earlier!
Thurgood Jenkins: We suggested that already!
Scarface: For real, B?