Sara: What's your name?
Chip: They call me Chip.
Sara: Aw, you can't get 'em to stop?

Wear something tight.

Costa

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, dear, are you ready?
Inga: Yes, Doctor.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Elevate me.
Inga: Now? Right here?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, yes, raise the platform.
Inga: Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes.

Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.

Eli

Sheila Broflovski: What the heck is a rimjob?
Mrs. Cartman: Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass.

Pat Healy: What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
Brett Favre: I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass.

Fogell: What's it like to have a gun?
Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.

Virginia: What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Happy Gilmore: I didn't *break* it, I was merely testing its durability, and I *placed* it in the woods cause it's made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.

Droz: What's Your major?
Sanskrit Major: Sanskrit
Droz: Sanskrit. You are majoring in a 5,000-year-old, dead language?
Sanskrit Major: Yeah.

Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Bender: Who cares?
Allison Reynolds: I care.

Jake: [Looking at stick figure drawing] Who's that?
Janey: It's my mother.
Jake: You have her eyes.

Why can't you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?

Lillian

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