Popular Comedy Quotes
Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state?
Clark: No, sir, I don't.
Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff.
Boog? What's that short for? Booger?Ian
If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were *her* thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them and... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Ohman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am *such* a good friend!Gretchen
Malik: Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack."
Edward Ferrars: I hope I find you all well.
Marianne: Thank you, Edward, we are all very well.
Margaret: We've been enjoying very fine weather.
[Marianne nudges her]
Margaret: Well, we have.
Edward Ferrars: I'm glad to hear it. The roads were very... dry.
Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.Mugatu
Nemo: Are you all right?
Dory: I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I... I can't remember... and I can't remember...
Nemo: It's okay, it's okay. I'm looking for somebody too. Hey, we can look together.
Dory: I'm Dory.
Nemo: I'm Nemo.
Dory: Nemo? ... That's a nice name.
Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don't know. It's a mystery.
Henry Sherman: Call me Henry.
Chas: I prefer Mr. Sherman.
Ethel: Call him Henry.
Chas: Why? I don't know him that well.
Ethel: You've known him for ten years.
Dude, am I ugly?Klitz
Pitka: How do you do? Shrimp?
Coach Cherkov: What did you call me?
Pitka: I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome. NAME! You are a midget.
Sally Albright: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
Harry Burns: That's what drew her to me.
Sally Albright: Your dark side?
Harry Burns: Sure. Why? Don't you have a dark side? I know, you're probably one of those cheerful people who dot their "i's" with little hearts.