Popular Comedy Quotes
Party Guest: Oh,but really biting satire is always better than physical force.
Isaac Davis: No,physical force is always better with Nazis.
Veronica Sawyer: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
Woody Stevens: Well not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.
Broadway! I haven't been zis happy since we crushed Poland!Franz Liebkind
Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You're not likely to dear. Not from where you sit.
Nancy Kendricks: Do you realize how much the duplex is going to be worth once we get both floors?
Alex Rose: I know how much it costs.
Nancy Kendricks: Well it's going to be worth a bazillion times that.
Alex Rose: Really? A bazillion? That's an incredible return.
Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't...
Matilda: Done it in a while, yeh.
Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?
You seem jumpy, Carter... did you switch from mocha to crack?Dan Foreman
Roy O'Bannon: First time you ever see an outlaw?
[Pretty victim nods]
Roy O'Bannon: Scared? Kind of excited, too? All mixed up? Yeah. Last train we robbed we were naked it was so hot out.
Thomas: JIMMY! Can I have your autograph?
Jimmy: Get it off eBay!
Thomas: Who is eBay?
Carl Peterson: The insurance adjuster recommended that we sue Dupree.
Molly Peterson: For a mooosehead?
Ann Foreman: I'm pregnant!
Dan Foreman: What? I'm sorry, I thought you just said that you were pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah.
Dan Foreman: You can't be pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah I can, I am
Dan Foreman: Yeah, how could that happen?
Ann Foreman: Well I think that you were there too.