Popular Comedy Quotes
Lydia: They don't want to come down.
Otho: Why not?
Lydia: I think the reason is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.
Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.
Albert: Honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. I'm going out of my mind. I want to throw myself off every building in New York. I see a cab and I want to dive in front of it because that way I'll stop thinking about her.
Hitch: You will just give it time.
Albert: That's just it. I don't want to I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. If this is the only way I can stay connected with her then this is who I have to be.
Party Guest: Oh,but really biting satire is always better than physical force.
Isaac Davis: No,physical force is always better with Nazis.
Veronica Sawyer: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
Woody Stevens: Well not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.
Broadway! I haven't been zis happy since we crushed Poland!Franz Liebkind
Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You're not likely to dear. Not from where you sit.
Nancy Kendricks: Do you realize how much the duplex is going to be worth once we get both floors?
Alex Rose: I know how much it costs.
Nancy Kendricks: Well it's going to be worth a bazillion times that.
Alex Rose: Really? A bazillion? That's an incredible return.
Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't...
Matilda: Done it in a while, yeh.
Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?
Carl Peterson: The insurance adjuster recommended that we sue Dupree.
Molly Peterson: For a mooosehead?
You seem jumpy, Carter... did you switch from mocha to crack?Dan Foreman
Roy O'Bannon: First time you ever see an outlaw?
[Pretty victim nods]
Roy O'Bannon: Scared? Kind of excited, too? All mixed up? Yeah. Last train we robbed we were naked it was so hot out.