Popular Comedy Quotes
Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Yes, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Shrek: Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour.
I told you ogres don't live happily ever after!Fairy Godmother
King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad, bad donkey!
Princess Fiona: It's okay, dad. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the tower.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?
Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!Donkey
[running ahead of giant gingerbread man] Run, run as fast as you can!Donkey
[trying to convince Shrek not to neuter him] Please, no, por favor, por favor, please no, I implore you. I was doing it for my family! My mother she's sick and my father he lives off the garbage. The king offered me much money and I have a little brother...Puss-in-Boots
It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.Donkey
Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at the Far Far Away royal ball. The carriages are all lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.Mirror
Jimmy: So Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Chazz: We're going to skate to one song, and one song [sings] I'm gonna get you get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps. My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.
Jimmy: How do you even know what that means?
Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.
Jimmy: No it's not, it's...
Chazz: It gets the people GOING!
You bet your size 6 ass!Nigel
You went upstairs? Why didn't you just crawl into bed with her ask a bedtime story?Emily
Andy Sachs: So none of the girls here eat anything?
Nigel: Not since two became new four and zero became the new two.
Andy Sachs: Well, I'm a six...
Nigel: Which is the new fourteen.