Popular Comedy Quotes
The Ancient Booer: Boo. Boo. Boo.
Buttercup: Why do you do this?
The Ancient Booer: Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up.
Buttercup: But they would have killed Westley if I hadn't done it.
The Ancient Booer: Your true love lives. And you marry another. True love saved her in the fire swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. Boo.
Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Fezzik: You just shook your head... doesn't that make you happy?
Westley: My brains, his steel, and your strength against 60 men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?
Ha, your pig fiance is too late!Westley
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Wondering how it's played?
Will Turner: I understand. It's a game of deception. But your bet includes all the dice, not just your own. What are they wagering?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Oh, the only thing we have. Years of service.
Will Turner: So any crew member can be challenged?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Aye. Anyone.
Will Turner: I challenge Davy Jones.
Lord Cutler Beckett: No doubt you've discovered that loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm as your father believes.
Elizabeth Swann: Then what is?
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm afraid currency is the currency of the realm.
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth!
[Turns to Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.
Jack Sparrow: We are very much alike, you and I, I and you... us.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh. Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Jack Sparrow: [Sniffs his armpit and looks back] Trifles.
Davy Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you condemn a innocent man, a friend to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: Yep, I can live with it
Elizabeth Swann: We're not getting out of this.
Norrington: Not with the chest. Into the boat.
Elizabeth Swann: You're mad.
Norrington: Don't wait for me.
[runs away from the longboat with the chest]
Jack Sparrow: Uh, I say we respect his final wish.
Cotton's Parrot: Awk, don't eat me.
Will Turner: I'm not going to eat you.
Jack Sparrow: [Talking about Jack's debt to Jones] You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Davy Jones: One soul is not equal to another.
Jack Sparrow: Ah-ha! So, we've established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we're just haggling over price.