Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... SLUT!

Cady

Do you know what people say about you? They say you are homeschooled jungle freak who's a less hot version of me. So don't try to act all innocent. You can take that fake apology and shove it straight up your hair little a-
[gets hit by bus]

Regina

I know, right?

Regina

Shane Oman: Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?
Regina: I'm starving.
Shane Oman: Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.
Regina: What?
Shane Oman: They make you gain weight like crazy.
Regina: Motherf... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were *her* thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them and... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Ohman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am *such* a good friend!

Gretchen

Cady: Regina, wow, you look really beautiful.
Regina: I'm wearing a spinal halo.

Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.
Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.
Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.

Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?

Regina

Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!

Mr. Duvall

Kevin: What's up?
Janis: Can I help you?
Kevin: You Puerto Rican?
Janis: Lebanese.
Kevin: I feel that.

Betsy Heron: Where's Cady?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: She's grounded.
Chip Heron: Are they not supposed to be let out when they're grounded?

[narrating] I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.

Cady

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