Popular Comedy Quotes
Reporter: What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
We decided to leave town just one damn day to late!Valentine McKee
Tommy Likey! Tommy want wing-ey!Tommy
Siegfried: How do I know you're not from CONTROL?
Maxwell Smart: If I were from CONTROL, you'd already be dead.
Siegfried: If you were from CONTROL, YOU'D already be dead.
Maxwell Smart: Neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.
Shtarker: That actually makes sense.
Party Guest: Oh,but really biting satire is always better than physical force.
Isaac Davis: No,physical force is always better with Nazis.
Veronica Sawyer: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
Woody Stevens: Well not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.
Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You're not likely to dear. Not from where you sit.
I was trying to help you, bitch!Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Nancy Hayes: Jack, what do you think will happen if that money reaches those thugs.
Jack Ryan: I don't know. They'll probably have a hell of a luau.
Nancy Hayes: I mean to Walter!
Jack Ryan: We'll probably get invited.
Rabbi Jake Schram: What's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah really about? Anyone? Steve Posner.
Steve Posner: Sexual perversion.
Rabbi Jake Schram: Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's watching too much Spice Channel!
Kumar: How are you still alive?
Neil Patrick Harris: What are you talking about?
Harold: We saw you get shot, remember?
Neil Patrick Harris: You have to be more specific...
Kumar: In that whore house?
Harold: In Texas?
Kumar: You branded a prostitute...
Neil Patrick Harris: Oh yeah...