Popular Comedy Quotes
Inigo Montoya: Excuse... Excuse me... Excuse me... Fezzik, please?
Fezzik: EVERYBODY... MOVE! [everybody parts, path is clear]
Inigo Montoya: Thank you.
Westley: Hear this now. I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love. You think this happens every day?
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.
You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.Miracle Max
Buttercup: [kisses senile King]
The King: What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.
The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me!
Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.
Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work. A long and glorious tradition.
Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
Vizzini: Am I going mad, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.
Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy brandy! And you... Friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!
Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss* ...
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us* ...
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm* ...
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm* ...
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow us?
Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. [pauses] Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
Inigo Montoya: No reason. It's only... I just happened to look behind us and something is there.
Vizzini: What? Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... through... eel-infested waters...
He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.Inigo Montoya
Vizzini: He didn't fall? Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But - I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Westley: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.