Popular Comedy Quotes
Peter Bretter: Is she coming this way?
Rachel Jansen: Yep.
Peter Bretter: I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.
Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.
She's gonna fight my battles for me.Roy
You better get your ass off your shoulders and make that money.Craig Jones
Lani Aliikai: Oh, crap!
[runs out to save drowning penguin]
Cody Maverick: Oh man, I'm in love.
Chicken Joe: You should go talk to her.
Cody Maverick: No way, man!
Chicken Joe: Dude, she's totally into you! She called you crap!
Just a moment. I hear people wanting something... ME!RamÃ³n
Mac MacGuff: And this, of course, is Juno.
Mark Loring: Juno, like the city in Alaska?
Juno MacGuff: No.
Mark Loring: Oh okay...
E.B.: What are the newspapers for?
Fred: You know you're an animal, so..
E.B.: Oh, I understand. I'll just sleep down here, among my poo and pee, like a pig.
I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.Travis
Prince Edward: [talking to a TV] Magic Mirror. I beg you. Tell me where she is!
Mary Ilene Caselotti: [on TV] Reporting from 116th and Broadway.
Prince Edward: One hundred and sixteenth and Broadway!
[hugs the TV]
Prince Edward: Thank you mirror!
[kisses it and runs off]
Morty: [while Michael is about to call him] Yes?
Michael Newman: [jumps back and lands on the table] You scared the...
Donna Newman: Honey, what's going on down there?
Michael Newman: I, uh, it was a mouse! It's dead, I killed it, it just broke the table first.
Jimmy: Let's make a baby!
Paula: Yes, that will solve all our problems.