Popular Comedy Quotes
He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.
Inigo Montoya
Vizzini: He didn't fall? Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But - I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Westley: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Westley: You've done nothing but sword-play?
Inigo Montoya: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been 20 years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Westley: Why can't I move? Why am I up against this wall?
Fezzik: You've been mostly dead all day!
[to Inigo] You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.
Fezzik
Inigo Montoya: Where is this Count Rugen now, so I may kill him?
Fezzik: He's in the castle with the prince. But the castle gate is guarded by 30 men!
Inigo Montoya: How many do you think you could handle?
Fezzik: I don't think more than 10.
Inigo Montoya: Leaving 20 for me?
Fezzik: Inigo?
Inigo Montoya: What?
Fezzik: I hope we win.
[admiring his torture contraption] Beautiful isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure by now you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting.
Count Rugen
Count Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so... be honest. How do you feel?
Westley: [moans in pain]
Count Rugen: Interesting...
Count Rugen: Your princess is quite a winning creature. A trifle simple, perhaps. Her appeal is undeniable.
Prince Humperdinck: I know, the people are quite taken with her. It's odd, but when I hired Vizzini to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it's going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once Guilder is blamed, the nation will truly be outraged... they'll demand we go to war!
Westley: You're amazing!
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be after 20 years.
Westley: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Westley: I'm not left-handed either.
