Popular Comedy Quotes
Santa: I've been to New York thousands of times.
Santa: Mmm hmm.
Buddy: What's it like?
Santa: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy.
Santa: Second, there are, like, 30 Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show," that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before Christmas.
Buddy: Actually, I'm a human, but I was raised by elves.
Carolyn: I'm a human... raised by humans.
Emily: You like sugar, huh?
Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
Buddy: Then YES!
Have you seen these toilets? They're GINORMOUS!Buddy
Now, before we learn how to build the latest in extreme graphic chipset processors, let's recite the code of the elves, shall we?Elf Teacher
Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!Buddy
[pushing elevator buttons] It looks like a Christmas tree!Buddy
Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?
Buddy: I heard you singing.
Jovie: Are you sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked in the shower?
Buddy: I didn't know you were naked.
It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture.Buddy
I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.Buddy
First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.Buddy
I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.Buddy