Popular Comedy Quotes
Is that... is that hair gel?Mary
How'd it go with your lady? Carve up any ice... With your weiner?Chazz
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You're playing with my mind.
Annie Savoy: I'm *trying* to play with your body.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: I knew it, you're trying to seduce me!
Annie Savoy: Well of course I'm trying to seduce you, for God's sake, and I'm doing a damn poor job of it... Aren't I pretty?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, I think you're real cute.
Annie Savoy: Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You are, you're exotic, and mysterious, and... cute... and... That's why I'd better leave.
I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.Columbus
That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! Damn I'm good!Ace
Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.Cher
Jean Girard: You taste like America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.
T.S. Quint: I was going to propose to her.
T.S. Quint: The Universal Tour.
Brodie: You're kidding. What part?
T.S. Quint: When Jaws popped out of the water.
Brodie: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
T.S. Quint: Too bad I'm not trying to marry you.
Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. [pauses a beat] How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?Judge Smails
Chip Douglas: Call it one guy doing another guy a solid.
Steven Kovacs: That is so nice!
Chip Douglas: Well you're a nice guy! You'd be surprised how many customers treat me like snot, like I'm a goddamn plumber or somethin'.
I think you will find me a slasher... of prices!Simon Skinner
John Clasky: Think seriously about getting up. You don't have to get up right now, but are you thinking seriously about it?