Popular Comedy Quotes
Pork away pal. Fuck her blue.Otto
[Inside the whale] I have to get out of here! I have to find my son! I have to tell him how old sea turtles are!Marlin
MacMillan: You can't see this on a marketing report.
Josh: Um, what's a marketing report?
Walter Sobchak: Were you listening to The Dude's story, Donny?
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Were you listening to The Dude's story?
Donny: I was bowling.
Walter Sobchak: So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know...
The Dude: (interrupting) Walter, Walter, what's the point, man?
Walter Sobchak: There's no reason - here's my point, dude, there's no fucking reason why these two...
Donny: Yeah, Walter, what's your point?
Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica Sawyer: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. fucking A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.
And I guess that was your accomplice in the woodchipper.Marge Gunderson
Colonel Sandurz: [in reference to not wanting to attack Yogurt's lair] But your ring! Don't you wear the schwartz too?
Dark Helmet: No, he got the upside. There are two sides to every schwartz. He got the upside, I got the downside.
Randal Graves: Jesus! Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive!
Elias: It's not my fault you abandoned your post!
Randal Graves: Was it too much to ask that you handle the fries? The machine does all the work! What, does a machine gotta transform into some giant fuckin' robot before you'll take it seriously? Go home!
We were driving for six or seven hours... and we thought he was napping...Richard
[lying in bed imagining the scene] You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head.Rob
Vladimir Wolodarsky: Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.
Steve Zissou: All right, just make sure we steal the backup.
Missy: Spirits, can you hear me?
Ted: Yeah and we can totally see down...
Bill: Ted! That's your mom, dude!