Popular Comedy Quotes
I'm gonna propose you a proposition!Big Dan Teague
Alex Rose: I can't work here. I've been trying. It's impossible. I've written three pages in the last six weeks. Three pages! The book is due on Wednesday. If we don't hand in the book I don't know what we're gonna do. We can't pay for anything. We can't pay for the runners, for the stools. We can't pay for the tanned jello bowl that you like. We can't pay for your little happy mug vase thing.
Nancy Kendricks: Well, what if you got out of the house for a little while and went to write at, like a Starbucks or something?
Alex Rose: And what? You're gonna stay here and try to find work while she has you running around doing things for her? Doing all the little errands, all the little chores that she asks you to do? I don't think you could take it. I love you, but honestly, I've been there and I don't think you could take it.
Nancy Kendricks: I can take it. I'll be fine.
Dr. Allan Pearl: I feel a bree... a... you're blowing in my ear.
Corky St. Clair: Okay, all right, but you see you jumped... to a conclusion!
Dr. Pearl: Oh!
Corky St. Clair: See, what I'm asking for is... your first feeling... was not that I was blowing on you. It was more like... Virgin Isles, or... Bahamanian...
Dr. Pearl: Oh...
Corky St. Clair: Or... Arubian...
Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?Phil
I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark.God
Walter Stratford: This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me?
Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"?
Walter Stratford: Close, but no. She said, "I should have listened to my father".
Bianca: She did not.
Walter Stratford: Well, that's what should would have said if she wasn't so doped up!
Ted: Hey, thanks for 9/11.
Indian woman: I'm Indian.
Ted: Yeah, whatever.
Pintel: You know you can't read.
Ragetti: It's the Bible, you get credit for trying.
Jimmy: THAT was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.
Mike: What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
Sue: Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.
Sue: Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey.
Elle: Ughhh. All day long I felt like white open-toed shoes after Labor Day.
Sid: I hate that feeling, whatever that means.
AS IF. I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky.Cher