Popular Comedy Quotes
Princess Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh. It's me... in this body.
Donkey: [gasps] Oh, my God, you ate the princess!
Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.Mexican Bandit
Bet ya that chick's two tons of fun. You know, the grateful type?Jack
Derek Zoolander: But why male models?
J.P. Prewitt: Are you serious? I just told you.
Can I just spray a little pam down there right before the baby comes out?Angie Ostrowiski
Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...Les Grossman
Lt. Frank Drebin: Congratulations, Ed! I hear Edna's pregnant again.
Ed Hocken: Yeah, and when I find the guy that did it...
D+?... Oh, my God... I passed! I passed! Oh, man! I got a D+! I'm gonna graduate! [hugs a stranger] I wish we'd known each other... this is a little awkward.Tommy
[after he spills water on his pants] Damn, she's gonna think I got that premature evacuation!Kenny Fisher
Nicole: Do you live alone, Inspector?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes, I do.
Nicole: Do you ever get lonely?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: No. Not since the Internet.
Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
Rayna Boyanov: Fuck! People are trying to kill me and all that's left of my security guard is you two, and you look like someone's demented aunts on vacation! You!
Rayna Boyanov: Don't you have someone in your team other than this asthmatic Big Bird?