Mom, dad, it's me, Thomas. Um, where do I start? This is supposed to be a small get-together. I wanted to be cool for one night. You know, I wanted girls to notice me. Then things got a little out of control.

Thomas

Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don't know. It's a mystery.

My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.

Isaac Davis

Pete: Do you think maybe we've gone too far? I'm a child of divorce and I sympathize with them.
Teddy Sanders: My parents love each other, and I think it's hilarious.

My. You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday.

Count Rugen

Dr. Peter Venkman: Nimble little minx, in't she?
Dr. Egon Spengler: We're gonna go full stream.
Dr Ray Stantz: Aim for the flattop!
[Ghostbusters shoot at Gozer, but she disappears]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [uncertainly] Wasn't so hard.

Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point...

The only thing you're working on is diabetes you fat (expletive).

Costa

I went to sleepaway camp so long ago that it was the Stone Age. No, but seriously, it wasn't the Stone Age... it was the Ice Age! No, really, it was the Stone Age.

Alan Shemper

Bitch, I don't know your life!

Angie Ostrowiski

It is not my job to be jumping on and off of buses, I don't do that, I am not Carl Lewis!

Carter

No flying in the house!

Janet Benson

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