Popular Comedy Quotes
Linda: I can fly.
George: You can't fly!
Linda: I believe I can fly.
George: If you're going to get literal with an R. Kelly song, do Trapped in the Closet...
Eirik: I can't see! I can't see!
Ray: Of course you can't see! I just a shot a blank in your fucking eyes!
I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.Ted
Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Shrek: It's just the rain, Donkey.
Evelle: I got me some baby grub, baby wipes, diapers, them disposable kind. I also got a package of balloons.
Gale: They blow up into funny shapes and all?
Evelle: No, just circular.
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them.Dewey Finn
William Miller: I have to go home.
Penny Lane: You are home.
Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: Breast Reduction Surgery? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back-problems, man.
I know Ms. Pac-Man is special. She's fun. She's cute. She swallows.Van Wilder
I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife... so bad... so... Will you marry me?Jeremy
I'd suck a fart out her asshole and hold it like a bong hit.Stu
If the pigs were gathering in Vegas, I felt the drug culture should be represented as well. And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn on one Las Vegas hotel, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another. Me and a thousand ranking cops from all over America. Why not? Move confidently into their midst.Raoul Duke