Popular Comedy Quotes
[rapping] You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.Grim Reaper
My. You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday.Count Rugen
C.C. Baxter: The mirror... it's broken.
Fran Kubelik: Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!Brennan Huff
Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?Foster
Bobby Boucher: So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.
Coach Klein: Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.
Adam: What are your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the Excorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy! Now what do you think!? You think I'm qualified?
Someone's ear is in danger of getting hair brushed behind it...Columbus
Zoey: Could you please take your hands off my breasts?
General Aladeen: Those are breasts? I thought you were a boy.
I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed.J.P. Prewitt
Nick Portokalos: Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become.
Toula Portokalos: Nick, that's beautiful.
Nick Portokalos: Yeah, that Dear Abby really knows what she's talking about.
[Mr. Jones snoring and talking in his sleep] Give me the two piece special. Lots of hotsauce and all the fries you can give me. Thank you, thank you.Mr. Jones