Popular Comedy Quotes
Sergeant Hulka: Soldier, I've noticed that you're always last.
John Winger: I'm pacing myself, Sergeant.
Son, you got a panty on your head.Hayseed
Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?Inspector Jacques Clouseau
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch!
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!
Red: [after having his necklace snatched by Deebo] Hey, man, why didn't y'all help me!
Smokey: [slouching in his chair] Man, I'm high.
Red: Man, that's fucked up. If it was y'all, I would've helped y'all.
Craig Jones: What about the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?
Red: [pause, thinks about it] Oh, that was different.
Winston: Hey Steve, ask me ANY movie.
Steve Barker: Okay, hmm... Jaws.
Winston: That's a good movie.
I believe "shaved" is the expression.Nadia
Jerry: I love you!
Audrey: Thank you
Jerry: Well, that's wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for...
Audrey: Thank you very much?
I'm a peacock, you've gotta let me FLY!Terry Hoitz
It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he had held the ball, laces out, like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?Mrs. Finkle
Kiss my frozen tushy! Kiss it, kiss it!RamÃ³n
Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.Al Czervik