Popular Comedy Quotes
Columbus: Don't be afraid to use your ammunition, that lady should have, would have, could have, saved herself. Rule number 4: Double Tap.
Hey... check this out! I found the ass end!Valentine McKee
Marlin: What did it say? What did the mask say?
Dory: P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.
Chunk: How's this?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!
Brandon Walsh: If God made it that way, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me.
Mike: [dressed as security guard] Please move away from this vector and get into another coordinate pronto. There's no access for you in this quadrant.
Teen: Man, why don't you goose-step on down to the women and children over there and give them your little power trip, because they may be impressed by it, asshole!
Mike: Young man, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine! I will dance with you inside the six-sided ring of fire, unless you move from this area, far and fast, NOW!
Beanie: Girls love a guy who's in your situation.
Mitch: What situation?
Beanie: Mitch. You're on the rebound. You're like an injured young fawn who's been nursed back to health and is finally going to be released back into the wilderness.
Morons... your bus is leaving.Phil
I love your eyes. I even love... your mother.Johnny
Victoria 'Vicky': I want it to be the right time, the right place...
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX.
No tracks, no sign, no spoor... you'd think after eating all those sheep they'd have to take a dump someplace ...Burt Gummer
I'm going off the grid. No more Franchises, no more botox, no more "Hey, oh, lets clone another goat," and certainly no more sexual harassment lawsuits, what's wrong with saying "Hey, nice tits." When did that go out the window?Uncle Ben
Carl Showalter: The fuck happened to her?
Gaear Grimsrud: Eh, she started shrieking, you know.