Travis, get your gorgeous tuchus out of here.

Marilyn Dean

[after Mauricio broke Hal's spell]
Hal: Okay, who do you think is the most beautiful woman in the world?
Mauricio: Wonder Woman.
Hal: Okay... let's say everyone else in the world thought Wonder Woman was ugly.
Mauricio: It wouldn't matter. Because I know they'd be wrong.
Hal: See! That's what I had with Rosemary! I saw a knock out, I don't care what anybody else saw!
Mauricio: You're right. I guess I really did screw you, huh?

I love you. And I'm about to boldly go where... many men have gone before.

William Miller

Wine Colored Tuxedo: I said there are no seats left sir, at any price.
Dr. Gonzo: Fuck seats! We're friends of Debbie's. I used to romp with her.

[written on piece of paper showing it to Frank] Welcome to hell.

Dwayne

Even Wheelchair Robert got a handjob!

Costa

Karen: I'm sick.
Regina: Boo, you whore.

I am a rooster illusion.

Tugg Speedman

[to Dr. Peter] I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?

Max Fischer

Macaulay Connor: Oh Tracy darling...
Tracy Lord: Mike...
Macaulay Connor: What can I say to you? Tell me darling.
Tracy Lord: Not anything - don't say anything. And especially not "darling."

Ed, this is serious!

Shaun

Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

Mr. Hand

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