Popular Comedy Quotes
Deborah Clasky: You don't have any other questions for me?
John Clasky: What other questions could there be?
Andrew Largeman: I think we've corrupted this innocent girl enough for one day!
Sam: I'm not innocent.
Andrew Largeman: Yes, you are! That's what I like about you, okay? And I don't want this guy taking you to some sketchy quarry in the middle of Newark to find crack whores huffing turpentine or pit bulls raping each other or whatever else is down here!
Say car Ram-Rod.Farva
Amelia Earhart: I take it you have a plan?
Larry Daley: I'm going to divide the house.
Hold your tongue, wench.Drake
Judge Chamberlain Haller: The next words out of your mouth better be "guilty" or "not guilty." I don't want to hear commentary, argument, or opinion. If I hear anything other than "guilty" or "not guilty", you'll be in contempt. I don't even want to hear you clear your throat. Now, how do your clients plead?
Vinny Gambini: I think I get the point.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: No, I don't think you do. You're now in contempt of court. Would you like to go for two counts contempt?
Vinny Gambini: Not guilty.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Thank you. Bail will be set at $200,000.
Ribbed for her pleasure. Ewww.Garth Algar
I got off that boat with nothing but my dancers belt and a tube of CHAPSTICK!Corky St. Clair
I can't believe George Simmons is dying. I grew up on his movies.Leo
Van Wilder: Take your clothes off.
Gwen: I'm not taking off my clothes.
Van Wilder: Well it is the naked mile run, everybody else is in their birthday suit.
[a hairy naked guy runs by]
Van Wilder: Except that guy.
I feel like I'm in 2 Fast 2 Furious.Aaron Green
Roy O'Bannon: You blew it, John! Never interrupt a man in the middle of a duel! I had 'im! That's what gets me: I had 'im! I had 'im!