Popular Comedy Quotes
[to the Dragon] Why of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty... hey, what's the matter wit you, you got somethin' in your eye?Donkey
Willie Mays Hayes: What the hell league you been playing in?
Rick Vaughn: California Penal...
Willie Mays Hayes: Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?
Rick Vaughn: Stole a car.
Droz: What's Your major?
Sanskrit Major: Sanskrit
Droz: Sanskrit. You are majoring in a 5,000-year-old, dead language?
Sanskrit Major: Yeah.
When I was growing up, if we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub.Billy Ray
When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.Fran Kubelik
Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site.
Seth: Yeah, but the problem is that they don't actually show the dick going in the pussy. Have you ever seen a pussy by itself?
Seth: I dunno, it's not for me.
Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?Borat
Fletcher: Your honor, I object!
Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!
Fletcher: Good call!
Phil: A gust of wind.
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil: A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil: Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of armored truck and walks into the bank]
Are you a pothead, Focker?Jack Byrnes
Brad Hamilton: Arnold, do you want to work at All-American Burger?
Arnold: Yeah, well, um...
Brad Hamilton: I can probably get you in there. Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.