Popular Comedy Quotes
Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them.Julius Benedict
Jack Ryan: 200 Grand is a lot different from a tv set.
Nancy Hayes: Yea... It's way lighter.
Yeah, well I've had my finger up my ass but I wouldn't say I've had anal sex.Holden
Look, I don't care what the telly says, all right? We *have* to get out of here. If we don't they'll tear us to pieces, and that is really going to exacerbate things for all of us.Shaun
Olive: Mom? Dad?
Richard: [1/2 asleep] What is it?
Olive: Grandpa won't wake up.
Harry, your heart attack could be the best thing that's ever happened to me!Erica Barry
Harry Dunne: You're hot for my daughter!
Lloyd Christmas: What?
Harry Dunne: Am I right?
Lloyd Christmas: That's insane!
I don't want to be here alone when the walls start to bleed!Sherman Schrader
[his answering machine message] It's Phil, leave a message. Actually, you know what, don't text me. It's gay.Phil Wenneck
Wilbur: Okay, so he keeps working and working until finally, he gets it! The first working time machine! Then, he keeps working and working until finally, he gets it again! The second working time machine!
Lewis: That's kinda small for a time machine.
Wilbur: I'm assuming that's a joke. I'm ignoring you for time reasons. This, my friend, is merely a model, because unfortunately, time machine number two is in the hands of the Bowler Hat Guy!
Always resignation and acceptance. Always prudence and honour and duty. Elinor, where is your heart?Marianne
Doyle: It's hopeless. We'll never get past the guards.
Roy: Well, not with that attitude, we won't.