Popular Comedy Quotes
Anita Miller: All the kids make fun of him. They call him the Narc behind his back.
Elaine Miller: What's a narc?
Anita Miller: It's a narcotics officer.
Elaine Miller: Well, what's wrong with THAT?
Katie: Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.
Peter Gibbons: What if we're still doin' this when we're 50?
Samir: It would be nice to have that kind of job security.
Peter Gibbons: Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. I can tell already. I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... because I'm a big pussy... which is why I work at Initech to begin with.
Michael Bolton: Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK?
Samir: Yes, I am also not a pussy.
Hey, look who's here. Two of my favorite people, and Phil.Buck Weston
Mr. Bialystock, I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone with a spine.Leo Bloom
Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.
Ethan Tremblay: Holy Moses, it's like I'm traveling with a child!
Peter Highman: Have you used the restroom?
Ethan Tremblay: Good point, I need to take a pee-pee.
[walks towards the restroom with a childish walk]
[to Max] I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.Dirk Calloway
I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"Toula Portokalos
Dewey Finn: In the words of AC/DC: We roll tonight... to the guitar bite... and for those about to rock... I salute you.
I can't wait to sit around for 4 days and watch Gossip Girl.Daphne Binks
Eli: I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.
Royal: Me too, me too.