Popular Comedy Quotes
[to Samnang] You better cure cancer, kid.Matthew
You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, 'cause I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass.Tommy
Greg Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?
You gonna set my country music award on fire?Rabbit
You have no call to get snippy with me; I'm just trying to do my job here.Marge Gunderson
You have spilled my macchiato.Jean Girard
You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.Envy Adams
You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end ... we all fruit.Gus Portokalos
Adam [commenting on young Nick's haircut]: "You look like Kid 'n Play."
Nick: "That's actually two people."
You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.Lou Brown
Detective: "You wanna explain why you were speeding?"
Nick: "I was drag racing."
Detective: "In a Prius?"
Nick: "I don't win a lot."
You will never age for me, nor fade, nor die.William Shakespeare