Popular Comedy Quotes
Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief.
"Brothers don't shake. Brothers gotta HUG!!"Tommy
Chip Douglas: [eating chicken at Medieval Times] Can I have your skin?
Steven Kovacs: Sure.
Chip Douglas: Check this out.
[places pieces of chicken skin over his face]
Chip Douglas: Silence of the lambs!
[imitates Hannibal Lecter]
Chip Douglas: Hello, Clarice. It's good to see you again.
[bursts out laughing]
Steven Kovacs: Oh lord.
Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point...
Lou: "Hey, man, can I ask you a question? Does this seem like it's all about Adam again?"
Nick: "Yeah--just like Cincinnati."
Adam: "You're gonna bring that up?"
Lou: "We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?"
Jacob: "Is this why you have that shoebox in your closet that says 'Cincinnati'?"
Lou: "What?! That's f***in' admissible!"
Nick: "You keep it in the closet?!"
Adam: "What am I gonna f***in' do with it? You can't bury those things."
Nick: "You wrote 'Cincinnati' on it?!"
Adam: "How do I know which one it's supposed to be?!"
Jacob: " ... Is it a fetus?"
Kelly Robinson: He's a bad guy, right?
Alexander Scott: I don't know. People are flip-flopping so much I lost track.
Marlin: Now, what's the one thing we have to remember about the ocean?
Nemo: It's not safe.
Marlin: That's my boy.
Kimmy Wallace: I think I'm going to cry.
Julianne Potter: Me too.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: Daddy, how much longer are you going to live?
Michael Newman: [to cellphone] One minute.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: One minute?
Corky St. Clair: How tall are you?
Corky St. Clair: Really... Wow!
Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here?
[cops left moments earlier to check out a shooting in Millbrook Park]
Harold: What the hell are you doing?
Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
Harold: Jesus Christ! What'd you do that for?
Kumar: I'm fucking starving! I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers.
Excellent wedding hairstyle.Tom