It was a great night, my hetero heroine.


When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something?

Mr. Walters

Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn.


Baptism! You two're just dumber'n a bag of hammers.

Ulysses Everett McGill

You're king Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard, or a homeless Santa!


While we're young.

Al Czervik

You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you have is a wet, critically injured baby.

Lane Iverson

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid.

Al Czervik

Fuck this weed is good.


[Talking about after her mom's death] It was so hard. I had to take on all of her responsibilities. Cooking... cleaning... breast feeding Mitch.


Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.

Steve Zissou

Van Wilder: Well just take a look at this... ya... doodles... I attend class today just about stayed the whole time too!
Gwen: I'm glad you went to all your classes today.
Van Wilder: And a few that weren't mine, I stepped in the wrong room, liked what I heard... stayed.
Gwen: That's great!

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