Popular Comedy Quotes
Phil Wenneck: Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. Who's this?
Doug Billings: It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
Alan Garner: I met you like four times.
Phil Wenneck: Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?
Bruce: So, what's a couple of bites like you doing out so late?
Marlin: Nothing, we're not doing anything, we're not even out.
Bruce: Great! Then how would you little morsels like to come to a little - a little get-together I'm having?
Dory: You mean like a party?
Bruce: Yeah, that's it, a party! What do you say?
Dory: Oh, I love parties! That sounds like fun.
Borat Sagdiyev: What kind of car can I buy that attract woman with hairless vagine?
Car Dealership owner: That would be a Corvette.
Harold: ...The universe tends to unfold as it should.
Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie?
Is it just me, or does every woman in Queens have some kind of an emotional problem?Prince Akeem
Rabinowitz: What are you reading?
Topper: Great Expectations.
Rabinowitz: Is it any good?
Topper: It's not what I'd hoped for.
... I got nothing.Silent Bob
Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.Frank
I did inhale because I thought 'What the hell, it's lit, it's in my hand, I'll inhale it.'Tom Dobbs
Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.
Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.
Andrew: Why do you have to insult everybody?
John Bender: I'm being honest, asshole.
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