Jack: Wouldn't it be great if we heard a train go by in the distance?
Peter: No.
Francis: It'd probably be annoying.

Trisha: Hi, is Napoleon there?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes.
Trisha: Can I talk to him?
Napoleon Dynamite: You already are.

Well, you should have seen the cover they WANTED to do! It wasn't a glove, believe me.

Ian Faith

It was a great night, my hetero heroine.


When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something?

Mr. Walters

Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn.


Baptism! You two're just dumber'n a bag of hammers.

Ulysses Everett McGill

You're king Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard, or a homeless Santa!


While we're young.

Al Czervik

You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you have is a wet, critically injured baby.

Lane Iverson

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid.

Al Czervik

Fuck this weed is good.


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