Randal Graves: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.

Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!

Donkey

[looking at the huge castle] Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

Shrek

Foxxy Cleopatra: You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.
Austin Powers: Oh, I hope there's a search involved.

Uncle Rico: We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers.
Kip: How bout some gold bracelets?
Uncle Rico: We need like some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit man.
Kip: That's true, that's true.

Who the hell was eating that turkey ass?

Rasputia

Elwood: Baby clothes...
Jake: This place has got everything.

Jimmy: I call top bunk!
Chazz: No, I already did.
Jimmy: No you didn't.
Chazz: Yes I did. In my mind.

Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face. This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.

Trent

American guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde?
Gareth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?

Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

David St. Hubbins

NOBODY steps on a church in my town.

Dr. Peter Venkman

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