So long, gay boys!

Mr. Chow

Alan Garner: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong?
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.

Alan Garner: Hey Phil, look!
[laughs hysterically while miming the baby masturbating]
Alan Garner: He's jackin' his little weenus!
Phil Wenneck: Pull yourself together, bro!
Alan Garner: Not at the table, Carlos!

Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?


Did you hear about The Morgans?

Man on Street

Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.


The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living.


How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... start with the little things.

Ryan Bingham

Watch out for sudden loss of depth perception?


How's that feel, Gilmore Girl?

Yancy Devlin

Yancy Devlin: You ladies ready to play a little Ultimate Frisbee?
Dan: I think so, Mr. Testosterone!

Dan: If I'm gonna be an old dad, you're gonna be Uncle Charlie. We can do this.
Charlie: We?

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