That was the most incredible experience of my life! And now, to find my family, save my town, and drop ten pounds!

Homer Simpson

Ned Flanders: Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky!
Bart Simpson: Oh yeah.

We have a great life here in Alaska, and we're never going back to America again!

Homer Simpson

Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.

Homer Simpson: I'll let you hold the bomb...
Bart Simpson: The man knows me!

Bart Simpson: I want a father who's the same in the morning as he is at night. Oh... what's that word...
Todd Flanders, Rod Flanders: Consistency?
Bart Simpson: Thanks losers.

[Homer is whipping the dogs pulling his sled]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!
[the dogs jump over a cliff]
Homer Simpson: Jump! Jump!
[the dogs land on the other side]
Homer Simpson: Land! Land!
[the dogs take a breather]
Homer Simpson: Rest! Rest!
[the dogs pull the sled again]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run!
[Homer sets up camp and begins removing the dog muzzles]
Homer Simpson: Okay, I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put that all behind us and...
[the dogs start attacking Homer, causing him to scream in pain]
Homer Simpson: AGH! Not my whipping arm!
[the dogs leave Homer stranded]
Homer Simpson: Why does everything I whip leave me?

Time to nut up or shut up!


Wichita: Let's play the quiet game.
Columbus: I just wanna say...
Wichita: You've never played the quiet game, have you?

I haven't cried like that since Titanic!


Yeah, let's celebrate mediocrity! That's fantastic.

Coach Jeff

I like smart girls. That's why I married your mama. Well, that and I knocked her up.

Mr. Cavendar

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