Mr. Edwards: Oh, yeah, Clark's a great guy. He'll take good care of Angie.
Dale Denton: You know what, why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?
Mr. Edwards: Hey, I'm a teacher! You can't say that to me!
Dale Denton: Yeah? Well, I'm not a student here, so I can say whatever the fuck I want, you cheap little bastard!

There's a fly in the ointment, shits hittin' the fan, the lion will speak!


Dale Denton: Yeah, except if you're a dick your whole life, you're going to come back as shit. Or a slug or a fuckin' anal bead. But if you do something heroic, then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or fuckin' Jude Law. Now which would you rather be, an anal bead or a dragon?
Red: Mmm... probably the anal bead... depending on who it belongs to.
Dale Denton: It belongs to me.

When my foot was in the hole - and my groin - man, I felt like a wishbone.


Saul: BFFF?
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin' Friends Forever, man!

Connor: Do you know who I am?
Brad: What?
Connor: Google me bitch! I might be famous one day.

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!

Brennan Huff

Dale Doback: Why are you so sweaty?
Brennan Huff: I was watching Cops.

Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: Oh.

In case of a loss of oxygen, please place your masks over your faces to hide your terrified expressions from the other passengers.


Alex: I wanna prove to my dad that I'm a *real* lion.
Marty: As opposed to what, a *chocolate* lion?

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