Listen Moto Moto. You better treat this lady like a queen because you my friend, you found yourself the perfect women. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect women I would give her flowers everyday and not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids, white, and breakfast in bed... six loaves of wheat toast with butter on both sides, no crust. The way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend and I'd spend everyday trying to think of how to make her laugh. She has the most, most amazing laugh. Well that's what I would do if were you.


The name's so good you gotta say it twice.

Moto Moto

[while urinating neon green liquid] Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.


Danny: No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet.
Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her.

People should love you. They really should, okay? And I want to deliver that for you. It's the least that I can do. You're a superhero. Kids should be running up to you, asking for your autograph, people should be cheering you on the streets...

Ray Embrey

[to Asian gangsters] Your head is going up his ass, his head is going up his ass, and you get the short end of the straw, cause your head is going up my ass!


Ray Embrey: My basic diagnosis of your fundamental problem you want to hear it?
Hancock: No.
Ray Embrey: You're an asshole. I know. I call it like I see it, though. It's not a crime to be an asshole, but it's very counter-productive. Not a crime, but you are an asshole, don't you think?
Hancock: Be careful.

Hancock: Who are we?
Mary Embrey: Gods, angels...Different cultures call us by different names. Now all of a sudden it's superhero.
Hancock: Are there more of us?
Mary Embrey: There were. They all died. It's just the two of us.

Mary Embrey: Whatever we are, we're built in twos. We're drawn together. No matter how far I run, he's always there! He finds me. It's physics.
Ray Embrey: Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying you two are fated to be together?
Mary Embrey: I've lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I learned - fate doesn't decide everything. People get to choose.

Willie: Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable on bottom, Fred?
Fred Claus: To be honest Willie, I don't think it's gonna make much of a difference either way.

The problem is every time I try to get close to somebody it's like there's something out there that just says oh Tibby's about to be happy, better get her.


You need to have a little faith, Tibby. Not everyone you love is going to leave you.

Brian McBrian

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