Sometimes I like to think that the pants got lost on purpose. That this was their final gift to us. Bringing us back together. Back to a place of forgiveness, and love, and in understanding that what we shared was all the magic we could ever need. And as we spent those last few moments of summer, looking out at the blending of sea and sky, I realized it was a color I knew very well. The softly faded, essential blue of a well worn pair of pants. The pants had brought us together again. The rest is in our hands.

Carmen Lowell

Bridget Vreeland: You fix your own car?
Greta: Cars are easy- it's people you need a manuel for.

Lena: How do you say "lost pants" in Greek?
Yia Yia: Greek girls do not lose their pants!

I'm sorry! I didn't get the memo that you were in Ala-frickin'-bama!


Kirk Lazarus: Alpa and I are already wearin' Earth Mamma's natural night camo.
Alpa Chino: Cool it, Benson!

Kirk Lazarus: [Alpa reveals he is gay] It's Hollywood, man! Everyone turns gay at some point!
Alpa Chino: I'm not gay! I love tha pussy!

Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?

Kirk Lazarus

Now I want you to take a step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of bullshit you're trying to pull here, but Asian Jack is my territory and if you're thinking otherwise, you've better to think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head out there and I will bring a Godly fucking fire upon you! I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

Les Grossman

You sexy like a chocolate strawberry.


Wheeler: I don't have crabs! What have you been telling these kids?
Ronnie: That you have crabs.

Gayle Sweeny: Did Wheeler ever expose himself to you?
Ronnie: Hell, no!

Gayle Sweeny: Watch your language, Ronnie.
Ronnie Shields: My language is English and this mother fucker tried to grab my junk.

FREE Movie Newsletter