Caroline: I found Jesus!
Norah: What?
Caroline: Jesus!
Caroline: He's much taller in person...

Since when does a queen need an excuse to sing?


Why would you buy these pants?


I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.


I love you so much, it's retarded.

Drunk Guy in Yugo

Drunk Guy in Yugo: Are you off duty?
Nick: This isn't a cab.
Drunk Guy in Yugo: Are you off duty?
Nick: It's not a cab, my friend, I promise you.

[about the concert]
Norah: Are you sorry we missed it?
Nick: No. This is it.
[they kiss]

It was a great night, my hetero heroine.


Nick: You two must be great friends.
Norah: Yeah, I'm a great friend. It's always been like this. I'm the squire in Caroline's never-ending quest for attention.

Thom: Would someone mind telling me where we're going?
Norah: You know how some people like to eat at the same places?
Nick: Yeah.
Norah: Well Caroline likes to puke in the same places.

Let's dance, douche bag!


If you don't have a drummer, then why do you have drums you fist-full of assholes?


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