Matilda: When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
Derek Zoolander: Ew!

By the way, you were wrong about my outfit. It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at JC Penney's. On sale!

Matilda [to Katinka]

I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed.

J.P. Prewitt

I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.

Katinka [about Matilda]

I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit... stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander!

Katinka [to Matilda]

You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.

Larry Zoolander

Tyra Banks: You're not married, you're on the wrong side of 40, and child-less. Somebody close to you said: One more flop, and it's over.
Tugg Speedman: [pause] Somebody said they were close to me?

You more shredded than a Julian salad, man.

Kirk Lazarus

Alpa Chino: That's the theme song for the Jeffersons!
Kirk Lazarus: Just because it's a theme song doesn't make it any less true.

Same thing happened to me. They found me in a back alley when I thought I was Neil Armstrong and was trying to reenter the Earth's atmosphere in a refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus

I'm just a little boy who plays with his penis when he's nervous.

Kirk Lazarus

I don't break character until the DVD commentary.

Kirk Lazarus

FREE Movie Newsletter