I'm a lead farmer, mother fucker!

Kirk Lazarus

John Lennon is rolling over in his grave to hide the giant boner you just gave him!

David Marshall

Some people carry a rabbit's foot, I like to rock a pocket of puke.

Robert 'Fish' Fishman

A lot of elevators play Celine Dion - that doesn't make it right.

Robert 'Fish' Fishman

It's not "stealing" if you're family. But, seriously, don't tell your mom.

Robert 'Fish' Fishman

I'm so scared right now. I'm just gonna to do what's sensible, I'm gonna file for unemployment. Then I'm gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they... *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.

Brennan Huff

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Kostos: We are no good at not loving each other...
Lena: I tried. I tried, but I couldn't.
Kostos: I tried too...

Saul: BF... FF?
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin’ Friends Forever Man!

Fuck Jeff Goldblum.


Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There's no hair under here!
Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!

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