Comedy Quotes
Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.
Today's my cat's birthday.
Red
Has anyone seen my bigger knife?
Ted Jones
[in Korean] Prepare to suck the cock of karma!
Ken
Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?
Hey, man, I was doing some research for next year and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. The Vag-Tastic Voyage.
Seth
He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.
Seth
Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing.
Seth
Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam!
Seth
I am gonna give you the best blow J. With my mouth.
Becca
I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...
Officer Slater
I'm assuming you all have guns and crack!
Officer Michaels
