Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.

Today's my cat's birthday.

Red

Has anyone seen my bigger knife?

Ted Jones

[in Korean] Prepare to suck the cock of karma!

Ken

Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?

Hey, man, I was doing some research for next year and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. The Vag-Tastic Voyage.

Seth

He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.

Seth

Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing.

Seth

Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam!

Seth

I am gonna give you the best blow J. With my mouth.

Becca

I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...

Officer Slater

I'm assuming you all have guns and crack!

Officer Michaels

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