[people in the neighborhood are looking at Hancock] What the hell are you pricks staring at?Hancock
Tibby: So Kostos isn't married. Why can't you just stop thinking about it and follow your heart?
Lena: Because...he broke my heart!
Oliver: You given any thought to who you might be voting for?
Shelley: I definitely won't listen to what Simon says, he is just so mean. I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.
Shelley: Oh, you meant the president.
Shelley: They're kicking me out?
Kappa: Maybe it's because of you're age.
Shelley: But I'm 27.
Kappa: But that's 59 in Bunny Years.
Drillbit Taylor: So what'd you do to provoke him?
Wade: Well he's fat, he's a dork, and I'm awesome.
Emmit: I'm not a hobbit!
Drillbit Taylor: [to Ryan] Emmit's not a hobbit, I don't think.
Drillbit Taylor: I'm Drillbit Taylor... US Army ranger, black-ops operative, decorated marksman, improvised weapons expert.
Wade: Are you still in the military?
Drillbit Taylor: I was discharged - unauthorized heroism.
Just never turn this cheek. Don't let them punk you.Hancock
Lady, I will break my foot off in your ass!Hancock
I gotta wonder what a bastard I have been. That nobody was there to claim me. I mean I am not the most charming guy on the world so I've been told... but... nobody?Hancock
Dale: What are you doing?
Brennan: I'm burying you!
Dale: My dad will wonder where I am.
I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!Kirk Lazarus