Well, you've done your job, so I don't suppose I can kill your wife Zenat. Although frankly I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.


Maxwell Smart: There are 150 special forces snipers surrounding this building.
Siegfried: No there's not.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 2 dozen Delta Force commandoes?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun.

Larabee: I'll do it sir, I have no problem exposing myself.
Agent 99: Do you ever think before you open your mouth?
Larabee: No, I tend to just whip it out there.

That is a sucker punch to the gonads.

Maxwell Smart

Agent 99: Are you staring at my butt?
Maxwell Smart: No, no, I...I was, but I'm not...I'm staring again.

[comes flying in a leather suit and the police men are looking at him] What? It's a little tight.


Michel: Jackass.
Hancock: [leans in close to Michel] Call me a jackass one more time.
Michel: Jackass.
Hancock: [grabs Michel and launches him into the sky; turns to chubby kid] You got a problem Thickness?
[chubby kid shakes his head; turns to kid with glasses]
Hancock: How about you Goggles?

Pitka: I would like to thank the academy. Wow, these things are heavy... yeah.
Coach Cherkov: Put me down, Jackass!

Pitka: How do you do? Shrimp?
Coach Cherkov: What did you call me?
Pitka: I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome. NAME! You are a midget.

Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle, tickle tickle.


My time to shine.


Pitka: I am his holyness, the Guru Pitka. My goal is to say: Gee, You are You... TM.

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