Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?

Ray: What are they doing over there? They're filming something. They're filming midgets!
Ken: Ray...
[Ray runs off and watches Jimmy being instructed by the director, who Jimmy flicks off as soon as he leaves]
Ken: Ray, come on. Let's go.
Ray: My ass let's go. They're filming midgets.

Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.

Ray Embrey: People don't like you, Hancock.
Hancock: Do I look like I care what people think?

Are you the Key Holder or the Gate Keeper?

Wilson

My brain's been paranized!

Jerry

Jerry: [Alma is providing the voices for "The Lion King"] Listen to me. I need to you say the line. I need you to say "I will piss on the bones of your ancestors"...
Mike: No, no! That's not in the movie!
Jerry: [interrupts] This is the next Lion King. This is Part II.

I will shoot you. And I know robot karate!

Jerry

Have you seen Elvis lately?

Jerry

Nurse: Have you ever levitated a nurse before?
Uncle Hendrick: Yes, but that's a very long story.

Carrie Bradshaw: Lets go down to the hotel for dinner tonight, I need to get myself out of my mexacoma.
Samantha Jones: Aww, you made a little joke. Good for you!

I'm a big pile of love today.

Harry Goldenblatt

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