Comedy Quotes
Bradley Fine: [has gun pointed at Tihomir] Tell me where the bomb is. Ten seconds or you're dead.
Tihomir Boyanov: Interesting. You see, when my men and I hid it, I made sure to erase any witnesses. And then I erased the erasers. Which means, I'm now the only one who knows just where that dangerously compact and transportable nuke is. So... I'd say I have more than ten seconds.
Bradley Fine: Well then in that case, I'd say you'd better st- [sneezes, shoots Boyanov between the eyes]
Bradley Fine: Oh, fuck...
Susan Cooper: [on earpiece] Oh my God, why did you do that?
Bradley Fine: I didn't do it on purpose; there's like a ton of pollen in here!
Bradley Fine: Haha, close one! Nice drone work, Coop. I could kiss you!
Susan Cooper: Oh, haha, well I would accept that with an open mouth.
Bradley Fine: Who's the finest of them all?
Susan Cooper: You are! Oh Bradley you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Bradley!
Susan Cooper: [Wakes up next to Ford in bed] Aaaaah!
Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it.
One day, lady superspy Susan Cooper, I will fuck you.
Aldo
Rayna Boyanov: My father used to bring people like you here.
Susan Cooper: Did he also make you dress like a slutty dolphin trainer?
[rides a moped up a ramp] I AM SO BADASS!
Susan Cooper
Rick Ford: You're going to ruin this mission.
Susan Cooper: No, *you're* going to ruin this mission.
Rick Ford: No, you are.
Susan Cooper: No, you're going to!
Rick Ford: You... times infinity!
Susan Cooper: Where'd you get a suit?
Rick Ford: I fucking made it, didn't I?
Nothing kills me. I'm immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.
Rick Ford
Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!
Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!
Rick Ford: Welln I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do!
I look like someone's homophobic aunt!
Susan Cooper
