Harry: Number One, why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be. Number Two, why doesn't this hotel have fucking phones with fucking voicemail on them and not have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist? Number Three you better fucking be in tomorrow night when I fucking call again or there'll be fucking Hell to pay. I'm fucking telling you.
Ray: Jeez, he swears a lot, doesn't he?
Two weeks, in fuckin Bruge. With you? No way.Ray
Priest: What did you do Raymond?
Ray: Murder, father.
Priest: Why did you murder, Raymond?
Ray: For money.
Priest: You murdered for money?
Ray: Yes, father.
Priest: Who did you murder for money, Raymond?
Ray: You, father.
They're filming midgets!Ray
Ken: Harry, let's face it. You've always been a cunt. The only thing that's gonna change, is that you're gonna be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: You fuckin' retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insulting my fucking kids? That's goin' overboard man!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?
Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette?
Lou Redwood: No. I like to smoke when I drink.
Jerry: [sung, poorly, to the tune of the Ghostbusters theme song] When you're walkin' down the street...
Jerry: [singing] ... and you see a little ghost...
Jerry: [singing] ... whatcha gonna do about -
[more out of tune]
Mike: What? What is that?
Jerry: That's the Ghostbusters theme song.
Jerry: I'm pretty sure it is.
Jimmy: She's ainâ€™t my girlfriend. She's a prostitute.
Ken: I am not aware that there are any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places. Brothels are good.
If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded, Bruges might impress me, but I didn't, so it doesn't.Ray
Kat Stratford: We're going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, NO ritual animal slaughters of any kind... oh God, I'm giving them ideas.
Walter Stratford: You know fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still let's me play a few innings - you've had me on the bench for years. And when you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the game.
Kat Stratford: *When* I go?
Walter Stratford: Oh, boy. Don't tell me you changed your mind. I already sent 'em a check.
[Kat gasps in surprise, then hugs her father]
[drunk. Leans in close to Patrick] Hey... your eyes have a little green in them.Kat Stratford
[Patrick smiles momentarily, then Kat vomits at his feet]