Robert: Would you like me to call someone for you?
Giselle: I don't think they would hear you from here.
Morgan Philip: Remember not to put too much makeup or the boys may get the wrong idea. They are only after one thing.
Giselle: What's that?
Morgan Philip: I don't know. They won't tell me.
Prince Edward: [threatening Robert with his sword] Have you any last words before I dispatch you?
Robert: You have got to be kidding me!
Prince Edward: Strange words!
Prince Edward: [talking to a TV] Magic Mirror. I beg you. Tell me where she is!
Mary Ilene Caselotti: [on TV] Reporting from 116th and Broadway.
Prince Edward: One hundred and sixteenth and Broadway!
[hugs the TV]
Prince Edward: Thank you mirror!
[kisses it and runs off]
Ringo Starr: I've got a song about an octopus.
John Lennon: 'I've got a song about an octupus'. Why don't you jam it up your ass?
Dewey Cox: I have a lot of pain in me.
Darlene: Where does all that pain come from, Dewey?
Dewey Cox: I cut my brother in half with a machete.
Darlene: [shocked] What?
Dewey Cox: Nothin', nothin'. Let's get some food, come on.
Dewey Cox: Thank you, Elvis Presley!
Elvis Presley: [mumbles somthing incoherently and indecipherable, then leaves]
Dewey Cox: What the fuck was he talking about?
[to his pet chimpanzee] I've had it with all this crap! All you care about is fruit and touching yourself. Well, fuck you!Dewey Cox
Edith: It's against the law to be married to two people at the same time!
Dewey Cox: What about if, if you're famous?
Dewey Cox: [to his mother] All I need is my music and someday, I'll make my masterpiece.
Dewey's Dad: The wrong kid died.
Dewey Cox: You see that, Momma? That was just unnecessary.
Let's go play machete fight. Ain't no terrible tradgedy's gonna happen today!Nate
Dewey Cox: [singing] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.
Darlene: [singing] That's one of my favorite things to do.