
Comedy Quotes
With meditation, there's no limit to what you can... Imagine.
John Lennon
...and remember it doesn't say Cox, unless I say it tastes like Cox.
Dewey Cox
Dewey Cox: Maybe you don't believe in me at all.
Edith: I do believe in you
[pause]
Edith: I just know you're gonna fail.
Paulie Bleeker is about as good as it gets when it comes to boyfriends.
Juno MacGuff
Can we make out now?
Paulie Bleeker
Juno MacGuff: I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it.
Leah: You should look in the PennySaver.
Juno MacGuff: They have ads for parents?
Leah: Yeah! 'Desperately Seeking Spawn.'
Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Uh, dad?
Mac MacGuff: Yeah?
Juno MacGuff: Either I just wet my pants... or...
Mac MacGuff: "Or"...?
Juno MacGuff: Or... THUNDERCATS ARE GO!
Mac MacGuff: And this, of course, is Juno.
Mark Loring: Juno, like the city in Alaska?
Juno MacGuff: No.
Mark Loring: Oh okay...
That ain't no etch-a-sketch. That's one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet.
Rollo
If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks, probably like a sea monkey right now, and I should let it get a little cuter.
Juno MacGuff
Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.
Mac MacGuff: Did you see that coming?
Bren: Yeah... but I was hoping she was expelled, or into hard drugs.
Mac MacGuff: Or DWI... anything but this.