Adam Flayman: Are you going to his funeral?
Barry B. Benson: No way. Everyone knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead.
Cow: You're a lawyer too?
Mooseblood: Ma'am, I was already a bloodsucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase!
Jane Burns: If you don't let me, I'll never learn.
Dan Burns: But if I let you, you might not live.
[about Mitch] It seems all his best lines were yours... this is unbearable.Marie
There's rightness in our wrongness.Dan Burns
Put it on my tab.Dan Burns
I don't want to go out with the pig... face.Dan Burns
Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.Dan Burns
Dan Burns: [after the family sees him kissing Marie] You guys broke up, right?
Mitch Burns: Two hours ago!
Mom was right about you!Nick 'Santa' Claus
[attempting to say "Hello, how are you" in a Cockney accent] Ello, ow are ooo?Corky St. Clair
[singing at an old folks home in Miami] Bubbe made a kishke, she made it big and fat, My Zaydeh took one look at it and said "I can't eat that!' ... Oh Bubbe, Bubbe, Bubbe, Oh Bubbe me oh myyyyyyyy...Dr. Pearl