Carl Showalter: Who the fuck are you? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
Wade Gustafson: I got your damn money; now where's my daughter?
Carl Showalter: I am through fucking around here. Drop that fucking briefcase!
Wade Gustafson: Where's my daughter?
Carl Showalter: Fuck you, man! Where's Jerry? I gave simple fucking instructions.
Wade Gustafson: Where's my damn daughter? No Jean, no money!
Carl Showalter: Drop that fucking money!
Wade Gustafson: No Jean, no money!
Carl Showalter: Is this a fucking joke here? [shoots Wade] Happy now, asshole? What's with you people? Ya fucking imbeciles!

Officer Olson: Hiya, Norm. How ya doin', Margie? How's the fricasse?
Marge Gunderson: Pretty darn good, ya want some?
Officer Olson: No, I gotta - hey, Norm, I thought you were goin' fishin' up at Mille Lacs?
Norm Gunderson: Yah, after lunch.

Carl Showalter: So, why don't you just ask him for the money?
Gaer Grimsrud: Or your fuckin' wife, you know.
Carl Showalter: Or your fucking wife, Jerry?

Jerry Lundegaard: I told ya. We haven't had any vehicles go missing.
Marge Gunderson: Okay! But are ya sure? 'Cause I mean, how do you know? Do you do a count, or what kind of a routine do you have here?
Jerry Lundegaard: [uncomfortable] Ma'am, I answered your question!
Marge Gunderson: [pause] I'm sorry, sir?
Jerry Lundegaard: Ma'am, I answered your question. I answered the darned... I'm cooperatin' here!
Marge Gunderson: Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me, I'm just doing my job here.
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm... not arguing here! I'm cooperating. So there's no need to... we're doin' all we can here.
Marge Gunderson: Sir, could I talk to Mr. Gustafson?

Marge Gunderson: Say Lou, did ya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?
Lou: Yah, that's a good one.

You have no call to get snippy with me; I'm just trying to do my job here.

Marge Gunderson

Just keep it still back there lady or we're going to have to, you know, shoot you.

Carl Showalter

OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal.

Marge Gunderson

So, uh, you married old Norm son-of-a-Gunderson?

Mike Yanagita

But you're sayin'... what are ya sayin'?

Stan Grossman

Carl Showalter: The fuck happened to her?
Gaear Grimsrud: Eh, she started shrieking, you know.

I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.

Marge Gunderson

FREE Movie Newsletter