Lou: You alright there, Margie?
Marge Gunderson: Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf... Well, that passed. Now I'm hungry again.
O.K., we'll stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?Carl Showalter
Carl Showalter: I want to go somewhere where I can get a shot and a steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon. Come on, man! Alright ... here's an idea. I know this place outside of Brainerd where we can get laid, what do you think?
Gaer Grimsrud: I'm fucking hungry now, you know.
Ah, hon, ya got Arby's all over me.Marge Gunderson
Oh, fuck it, I don't have to talk either, man! See how you like it. Just total fuckin' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.Carl Showalter
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: Okay.
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna sit here and debate.
We've been waiting here an hour. He's peed three times already.Carl Showalter
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, heck, if you wanna play games here! I'm workin' with ya on this thing, but I... Okay, I'll do a damned lot count!
Marge Gunderson: Sir? Right now?
Jerry Lundegaard: Sure right now! You're darned tootin'!
Carl Showalter: What kind of trouble are you in, Jerry?
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, that's, that's, I'm not gonna go inta, inta - see, I just need money.
You know, I've been listening to your fuckin' bullshit all week. Are we square? Are WE square? Yeah, ya fuckin' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass!Carl Showalter
Hold on! No fucking way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot! I got fuckin' shot in the face! I went and got the fuckin' money; I got shot fuckin' picking it up. I've been up for thirty-six fucking hours! I'm taking' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine! You fucking asshole!Carl Showalter
Carl Showalter: Geesus. Well, I got the money. All of it. All eighty grand. That's forty for you, forty for me. That's it, then. You can have my truck. I'm takin' the Ceira.
Gaear Grimsrud: We split that.
Carl Showalter: [pause] How'dya split a fucking car, ya dummy? With a fucking chainsaw?
Gaear Grimsrud: One of us pays the other for half.