The Cable Guy: Sounds like heart break to me.
Steven Kovacs: Well I really don't want to discuss it with you. Could you just install my cable please? I'm gonna go get dressed.
The Cable Guy: Suit yourself. No sweat off my sac. Oh by the way, you might wanna put on a bathing suit 'cause you'll be channel surfing in no time!

Steven: You know, my brother is a speech therapist.
Chip Douglas: Tho?

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The blue knight rules! The red knight sucks the big one! Down, down, down. Right knight goin' down. Down, down, down. Red knight goin' down.

Chip Douglas

Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Chip Douglas

Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?
Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?
Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.

Twilight, what did we talk about in class? Throw it through her, not at her.

Russell Gettis

[slurred] I'm gonna rock your vagina.

Carl Halabi

Shut the front door.

Amy Squirrel

If the younger generation doesn't get into opera, then, guess what? No more opera! An art form has died. If opera goes away, we're fucked!

Mark

[as she is being dragged away] You can check my urine! CHECK MY URINE! CHECK MY URINE!

Amy Squirrel

Did you know I walked in on him trying to fuck his dog? Peanut butter everywhere.

Elizabeth Halsey

I tell you what I know. A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. that's what I know.

Elizabeth Halsey

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