I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife... so bad... so... Will you marry me?


What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.


[holding the shotgun at his hip, yelling at the target]
Ben: I said get down! You better get on the ground!!
[firing the shotgun sends him flying backwards, landing crumpled up in a bin]
James: Got a little bit of kick to it.
Ben: My stomach in my ass!
James: Oh yeah, you’re ready for the streets.

[large flaming debris slams into the back window of James' car]
Ben: It’s probably still driveable though, because it happened in the back.
[the car explodes]
Ben: You can’t drive it now.

Ben: What’s up little man.
[mocking him]
Basketball Kid: What’s up little man?
Ben: What you about 3’10″, 3’11″?
Basketball Kid: Yeah but you know what I’m gonna do, grow! What you gonna do, stretch?

James: Today is your training day. You got one day and one day only to show me what you got.
Ben: Bring it on.

Ben: You want the hammer?
Angela: I want the hammer.
Ben:Then go get the hammer.
[James, who was sitting in the dark, shines his flashlight on them, scaring them]
James: OK, enough of that nasty sh**.
Ben: Baby 9-1-1, call 9-1-1!!
[he pushes her, then trips and breaks a glass table]

[rehearsing his proposal lines to an older woman at the school]
Ben: To say I’m crazy about you doesn’t do you any justice. I adore you. I’m devoted to you. You would make me the luckiest man on the planet if you would be my wife.
Lunch Woman: Eh
Ben: What’s that mean, “eh”?

It’s that clown that’s been datin’ my sister, little man smurf.


[to Ben] You wouldn't last one day out here!


Man, you gotta be kidding me! You gonna pull out a gun, when you looking at THIS?


Ben: James, I wanted to ask your blessing in asking your sister to marry me.
James: Show me that you're worthy of her.
Ben: How am I supposed to do that?
James: I'm gonna take you on a ride-along.
Ben: Hell... yeah!

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