Ron Burgundy: I don't read Jet magazine or uh Jheri Curl Daily.
Linda Jackson: What are you doing?!
Ron Burgundy: I’m breaking down the barriers of race by assimilation and on that note, which one of you convicts with the longest record can pass me the mash potatoes?
Ron Burgundy: You're not black or Asian.
GNN Reporter: I'm gay.
Champ Kind: Do you sleep in a coffin?
GNN Reporter: No, that’s vampires.
Brian Fantana: Are you allowed to be out in the sun?
GNN Reporter: Those are also vampires.
Brick Tamland: Are you a vampire?
Freddie Shapp: We're starting a 24-hour news channel and we want you.
Ron Burgundy: I'm going to do the thing that god put Ron Burgundy on this earth to do, have salon-quality hair and read the news.
Champ Kind: I believe in two things: Chicken, and that the census is a way for the UN to make your children gay.
Brick Tamland: Your hair looks like wet popcorn.
Chani: I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin.
I'm so lonely, I paid a hobo to spoon with me.Ron Burgundy
When it rains... you put on a coat.Tim Lockwood
When it rains, you put on a coat... of Spray-On Shoes!Flint Lockwood
Flying Car 2... now with wings!Flint Lockwood
Come on, Sam. Doctor Manny's got the medicine for your face.'Baby' Brent
A turkey stuffed inside a pizza, the whole thing deep-fried and dipped in chocolate.Mayor Shelbourne
This tastes significantly better than sardines.Joe Towne