Ron Burgundy: I don't read Jet magazine or uh Jheri Curl Daily.
Linda Jackson: What are you doing?!
Ron Burgundy: I’m breaking down the barriers of race by assimilation and on that note, which one of you convicts with the longest record can pass me the mash potatoes?

Ron Burgundy: You're not black or Asian.
GNN Reporter: I'm gay.
Champ Kind: Do you sleep in a coffin?
GNN Reporter: No, that’s vampires.
Brian Fantana: Are you allowed to be out in the sun?
GNN Reporter: Those are also vampires.
Brick Tamland: Are you a vampire?

Freddie Shapp: We're starting a 24-hour news channel and we want you.
Ron Burgundy: I'm going to do the thing that god put Ron Burgundy on this earth to do, have salon-quality hair and read the news.

Champ Kind: I believe in two things: Chicken, and that the census is a way for the UN to make your children gay.

Brick Tamland: Your hair looks like wet popcorn.
Chani: I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin.

I'm so lonely, I paid a hobo to spoon with me.

Ron Burgundy

When it rains... you put on a coat.

Tim Lockwood

When it rains, you put on a coat... of Spray-On Shoes!

Flint Lockwood

Flying Car 2... now with wings!

Flint Lockwood

Come on, Sam. Doctor Manny's got the medicine for your face.

'Baby' Brent

A turkey stuffed inside a pizza, the whole thing deep-fried and dipped in chocolate.

Mayor Shelbourne

This tastes significantly better than sardines.

Joe Towne

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